Liberty Postings

I have always tried to avoid being judgmental.  I don’t always succeed, unfortunately.  I think we are all guilty of passing judgments more often than we would like to admit.  My anger at those who make a career out of being judgmental is a significant reason that I find myself at home within the libertarian philosophy.  Don’t make decisions about another person’s choices thinking that you know better.

Before I became a mom, I knew that being a parent was a difficult job.  But, I didn’t really KNOW.  After I became a mom, I would watch the single mothers with their children and think, “Now, that’s even more difficult.”  But, I didn’t really KNOW.  Now, I do.

Being a single mom is many things.  Every day, I am lonely, exhausted, filled with guilt, and scared.  But, I also have found more inner strength than I ever knew I had, an intensified sense of love and protection for my kids, and a resolve to be the one who will provide a stable and safe home.

I also now feel the sting of comments that are directed at single moms, and they hurt.

I had a potential client email me recently about his book proposal.  He wanted to share his life story so that others could be saved and walk right with Christ.  He explained to me how he lived a clean life and stayed away from drugs, pornography, and people who had committed the sin of divorce.  Nice.  Guess he better steer clear of me … my divorce might be contagious.

While networking at a business luncheon last week, a woman asked, “Are you married?  Do you have kids?”  I skipped the first question and let her know I have two beautiful children.  She glanced at my left hand, threw me a look of disappointment, and moved onto the next person.  Again, nice.

I’m a big girl.  I am 34 years old and I can, over time, get past the loss of a relationship, even if it is one that was created with the intention of lasting a lifetime.  The only time I cry anymore, and I will admit that it happens regularly, is when I think about my kids and how they will grow and adapt to living in a “broken home.”  So, it would be selfish and petty for me to whine about the thoughtless people who make snap judgments about me.  I have more important people to worry about.

However, I feel like some politicians are making policy decisions, particularly on social issues, with the same approach as that woman who looked down at me when she realized I had kids and no husband.  Whether it be single moms who need legal advocates on behalf of their children, gay couples who just want the right to take a 50/50 shot at lifelong commitment the way that straight couples do, or a family that publicly wants to practice a faith that is not held by most others around them, you cannot understand the details and background issues of those lives unless you have lived them.

So, to take it back to where I started, I value the fact that the past seven months have taught me to be even more vigilant against my own tendencies to judge.  Maybe some of our politicians need to lace up the shoes belonging to some of their constituents back home and go for a walk as well.